Monday, 22 July 2013

Letting Go

We all have such people in our lives that make it difficult for us to sleep, eat or breathe. They make it difficult for us to live, period. Of course the solution to such people is pretty simple: get rid of them. We stop talking to them, start avoiding them or simply decrease the amount of conversation or contacts we previously used to have with them.
But it starts becomes difficult for us when we love that person unconditionally and we realize that they don’t. Instead, they start hurting us- intentionally, or unintentionally- whichever. But they start hurting us, nonetheless and we realize that they’re no good for us. We know that they cause us pain- physical, or emotional. We know that they start giving us sleepless nights. We keep thinking about them day and night, and the problem is, that it’s not in a good sense. We keep stressing over why they have become this way, why they are doing what they are doing. Why, why, why? They start invading our sane space and start occupying most of our mind. We find it difficult to focus over more vital things in our lives.  But what’s the big deal in that too? Just avoid them. The big deal is that we’re just too selfish to let go of them because we need them if we are to live. We need them irrationally in our lives- or so we think. Whatever it is we do, we keep wondering what would they be doing right now? How cool it would have been had they been here. Then we bang our heads for thinking that way because we know they aren’t thinking about us. We know that they’re never going to be here. We’re too stubborn to admit that they have already let go of us. We keep hoping and praying that someday we would be the same as we were with them back then. But in the back of our heads, we all know that it’s never going to be the same again.
If you’re the kind of a person who likes to live in the what could have been life, then sorry. I don’t have any advice to give you, and most probably you will continue to live in your little shell for the rest of your life. God bless you, if you snap out of it eventually. But if you’re the kind of person who likes to move on and stop hurting, if you decide to get better someday, sometime, then maybe what I have to say next will help you. Go lay down on your bed, eyes shut, lights off, music off, no distractions, and think. Think if you try and amend things with them, will it ever be the same again? Are you ready to forgive them fully and begin with a fresh start, or is it possible that you might negotiate with them and manipulate them over their mistakes for the rest of time? Ask your close friends, or family what they think about your situation, and then consider each option. But the tricky part is to be impartial. You have to be completely true to yourself. Because you're thinking about yourself here. Your happiness is the topmost priority right now. You have to remember that people will be happy around you, only if you are happy. This will not only put your mind to peace, but will also make you feel good about yourself.
When you finally have all your answers with yourself, even if it takes you weeks to gather your answers, it is finally the time where you get to decide. The best part about this is that there’s no right or wrong. You know what you want and so you can choose for yourself. You are the best judge of your relationship with that person because no one can understand how you truly are feeling, even if you try to describe it.
In the end, the decision is yours and you have to decide for yourself. The sad part is that no one can do that for you. Other people can only advice you, but you are the sole person who knows what is good for you, and only you. Whatever you decide, always remember that the priority of the decision is your happiness, the rest is secondary. As long as you are happy, nothing else matters.