Saturday 18 July 2015

Déjà vu

I was felt by an old man today
After returning home from a long walk
When my sharp turn caught the man behind me off guard
And I banged into him.
The first word that my lips uttered was an apology
But his firm grip around my arms
And his intent eyes at my chest
With a breath that smelled of tobacco
Made me numb and
And for a moment my body forgot 
That I was capable of using my human brain,
Of giving that sickly beast a piece of my mind
Or- as weak as it sounds- running away.
When he finally did let go of me, 
Contradictory to my typical behaviour,
I mustered up the courage to quickly leave
Instead of putting him in his place
Because at that moment all I could think of was first grade
When that man used to kiss me against my will,
Despite my futile protests.
I was felt by an old man today
And I have never felt more unclean.

Sunday 12 July 2015

Fixation

The empty space
That this empty space
Makes in my heart
Is unbearable
For the distant memory
Of sleeping with you 
In my arms
Is etched in my mind
Like it was yesterday-
Just that it wasn't