02.07.2016

I am on a mission tonight

To tell you how much I love you

Because it’s been far too long

Since I crudely drew that shy uncertain smile

That breaks like dawn

Upon this moonless dark night.

I am on a mission tonight

To speak to you in words I do not know how to utter.

I want to sit with you,

Hold your warm hands, like your heart,

To my heart,

Pour out to you

The things I could not have uttered.

I want to gaze into your deep kind eyes like, your soul

And watch them unravel my soul.

I am on a mission tonight

To brand your eyes as more than just deep,

Your soul as more than just kind.

I want to bury my head into a dictionary

And circle every word red

That reminds me of the magnificence that your magnificence is.

Red, because it is your favourite.

I am on a mission tonight

To talk to you

About that one movie you saw as a little kid

Which still echoes in every corner of your grown body.

I want to know you,

Know the dreams you had but gave up

Because ‘reality’ finally caught up to you

And know the dreams you had but never gave up

Even when reality managed to win the race.

I want to untangle you

Knot by knot, piece by piece

And see your bare soul,

And just. Keep. Looking.

I am on a mission tonight

To count the number of moles that encompass your beautiful body

Like stardust on a flawless canvas,

Like they are galaxies etched onto your perfect skin.

I want to memorize your stretch marks, your scars and their stories.

I want to learn

All that has made your body

Yours.

I am on a mission tonight

To lay with you

Under the stars, on wet grass

And find every nook and corner

Every untouched contour

And envelope it into mine.

I want to hold you,

To comfort you,

To caress you,

To ease your mind.

I am on a mission tonight

To do all the things I cannot

On this dim 3 am night.

I want to immortalize you

So that men for decades to come

Will whisper this sweet serenade

Like nothings into the ears of their lovers.

I want to make you

The epitome of the power of ink.

I am on a mission tonight

To make you my mission

For the rest of our lives.


Thank you Kyle Louw for helping me polish this.

I, the Eye

When I was thirteen years old
I became obsessed with tornadoes.
I'd sit at that boxy old screen
For hours, as unsatisfying as they'd seem
And marvel at how beautiful
Such a destructive phenomenon could be.
She was tall and slender
And could run hundreds of kilometers an hour
She had her feet on the ground
But her head in the clouds
She was beautiful 
And she knew how to make
Everything that came
In close contact with her,
Hers.
She was everything that I wanted to be,
And everything that I could not be
But what enchanted my little self most
Was the fact that even after having so much go on
She'd still have a safe place
Buried deep inside her soul
That belonged to her and just her
A place that no one could see, touch or enter.


When I was fifteen years old
I became obsessed with becoming a tornado
So I ran everyday hundreds of kilometers 
And became taller and slender
My head was in the clouds
But gravity, 
Oh that bitch kept my feet right on the ground.
I was beautiful and everything I touched
Turned into gold
I learned the art of convincing souls
That I was tall and i was slender
That I was beautiful
But what I forgot was the place
That was supposed to be inside my soul.
I turned everything to gold
But soon lost hold
Of where I was supposed to be,
Who I was supposed to be.
And so to fill all those places
I slowly lost my mind
Chasing mindless faces. 

When I was seventeen years old
I became a tornado
Only this time, someone found me.
He was the only one 
Who dared to come any closer
To she who was tall and slender
He let me bleed onto him
While everyone was taken aback by my enigma
He woke up nights with me
When all else thought it was time for my slumber
After years and years of chasing gold
Amidst all that went around me,
I finally got a hold 
I found that place inside my soul.
When I was seventeen years old,
I would still run 
Hundreds of kilometers an hour
Only this time,
I found my pen and my paper.

Out of Sight

The first time

Your hands found my waist

The grip of your fingers

On my skin

Made my heart tremble

And my knees wobble.

My mouth gave out a whimper,

My lips agape,

Found yours.

You felt and saw

My body boomerang,

But what you didn't was

That while you were lost

In ardour and adoration,

All I could see

With my closed eyes was

Him.

The clutch of his hands

Crumpling the thin fabric;

And his lips

Pressed against mine.

I felt his breath

On my chest

And his hair

Tickle my neck,

While you caressed

And craddled me

Like he never did.

I know I could've stopped,
And I should've stopped.

But had I stopped,

He would've stopped existing.

Renaissance

The warmth in me

Had wintered

Like the face of earth

During January-
Barren and lifeless

Because of the sunless sky

And the dry,

Callous gusty winds.

But you, my early March,

Have sunshine radiating

From every crevice of your body;

Your deep seated warm eyes

Ignite a spark inside of me

That had long been extinguished

By cold, loveless hands;

And every time your arms

Wrap around me securely

And your lips take mine,

A spring breaks within me

With colours

Learning to flutter again,

Bringing back to life

All that was

Once dead and gone

A Stellar Phenomenon

I would like to thank the Universe
For choosing to unite us 
And give me this
One beautiful year
Of the beautiful
Eighteen years of your life
That you have yet lived.
The years I missed,
I spent in search of you.
I am sure of this
For when I look at you
I can feel, remember
Stars colliding-

A sense of deja vu,

A distant memory I cannot quite recall.
I feel complete,
Whole
Like this entire life 
My soul has conspired with fate
To make mistakes
And take bad decisions
Which would only
Inch me closer,
Lead me,
To get to you
And now that I have, I can only hope
That we become unitary,
Separate to the unaided ignorant eye
But burning brighter, together, as one.
For it is vain
And it is futile
To let go of something
As beautiful as this, us 
When we have collided against each other
To emit the energy
As great as that of all others combined.
And this exotic anomaly
Is so rare, so pure
That they find it difficult
To comprehend 
This cosmic shock.
Through the force of gravity, my love,
We merge into a larger unit
But quietly so
And while they chase after us,
We will be enveloped
In our own blanket
Of space.

Uncompleted

We can make
A list of things 
We need to complete 
Together
But we need to be 
Together
To complete 
This list of things.
It's these future promises
Imprinted on my brain
That incapacitate me more 
Than the memories 
I will be leaving behind

Views From My Balcony

I wake up every morning

To the Sun

Cloaking away the dark

And it lights up my day

His sundry colours

Spread across the sky

Like a rainbow that wasn't,

Completely oblivious

To those besotted by his enigma.

Every time he sets

He would leave me transfixed 

On his blush and blond,

On his bittersweet glow,

Like water colours

Splattered on a cloudy canvas.

I would stand back

In awe of his beauty

Craving to be near,

To steal a touch

Or a quick glance,

Waiting for him to turn

And envelope me in his light

Surround me in his grandeur.

But then every night

He would kiss the Moon goodbye

Before leaving

And darken my world

The Mermaid In The Well

This is a tale
Of two girls
One sane
The other insane
She dug her well
And jumped in it too
But then she came along
And helped her stay dry
She clung on to her
Like a jacket that saves lives
And made her realize
That each well she digs
Wouldn't be the last
Yet she would do just fine
And now she knows
That every time she jumps,
There will always be a rope
To help her out, alive
This is a tale
Of two girls
One insane
The other her sanity 

Tug of War

Ink scrawled
In crude hand
Across bloodless leaves
Bound in black leather
Were my salvation
I was a diary girl
Until you came along
And I spent my time
Pleasing you
My me time
Was also now yours
Just like everything else I had
To keep you part
Of a day
That wasn't really mine
Any more, anyway

The Art of Loving

She gagged her appetite
And taught herself to prioritize
But still touched
On the days her mind
Wandered to how beautiful 
The full moon 
Would look hiding 
Behind the dark sky's veil
And the snowy mountain peeks 
Would seek to show
Her glistening beauty off
To the handful 
Who'd rather not sleep.
She would then choose 
Freely 
To pause
From her nightly chore
And take time out
To sail
To the other side
But she told him she wouldn't
And while she longed for him
To tell her otherwise,
He never did.
Though he said nothing,
His quiet gagged her appetite